Inside the World of Erotic Weight Gain, Also Known as Feederism
When people gain weight, feeling sexy is rarely cited. However, for those in the feedist community, the opposite is true—overeating and weight gain is the ultimate aphrodisiac. The gaining fetish (which goes by many names and all of which will be referenced) is a subcategory of fat fetishism—a strong, potentially exclusive sexual attraction to overweight people. Within the feederism fetish, one partner (typically male) derives erotic enjoyment from feeding food to their partner to gain weight. The “feedie” enjoys being fed and gaining weight, sometimes to a state of immobility.
Dr. Jenni Skyler, sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist for AdamEve.com, has had experience with those who practice the fetish and explains “encouragers” (vernacular typically used for gay men) or “feeders” (who are typically straight men), enjoy piloting caloric intake. To them, changing the human body is the ultimate kink. “They like the aspect of actually feeding their partner as the combination of food and sex is highly erotic for many people,” she explains. “Conversely, many feeders report feeling aroused by someone who appreciates their obesity and continual weight gain. They also enjoy being fully taken care of.”
For many in these communities, the duality of power and humiliation is also an erotic turn on. A study from 2009 concluded that “fat admirers” find overweight people attractive because they purposely reject sociocultural norms of attractiveness. Even emaciated figures were rated higher among these men.
Feederism is similar to BDSM, as the feeder/feedee relationship is a dominant and submissive bond. One takes charge, the other takes orders. The online community surrounding feederism is active and tightly knit. Many frequent sites like Fantasy Feeder to share recipes, experiences and discuss the healthiest ways to get fat fast.
Many believe the feeding fetish was founded by gay men, courtesy of the “Girth and Mirth” movement in the ‘70s, when a sizable network of social groups formed to promote positive attitudes toward larger bodies in the community. In 1996, the first website dedicated to gay men into weight gain launched, introducing the heterosexual community to the fetish. It’s been rapidly growing ever since.
In 2013, an anonymous writer detailed insightful experiences with the feederism fetish in an article titled, I Have a Sexual Fetish For Being Fed and Gaining Weight. “I love eating very caloric, rich foods, and I practically squeal with glee if I see the numbers on the scale climb,” she writes. “I like being called piggy, requested to oink and being accused of being gluttonous and lazy.” To her, the fetish has made being fat something to celebrate instead of something to hate herself for. Jennifer, a 36-year-old feedee, has gained 100 pounds since launching her pay site, NSFW, in 2011.
As is true of most fetishes, communication is important when engaging. Being able to discern reality from fantasy and understanding that consent needs to be continually discussed and negotiated is paramount. Some in the community try to manipulate the feedees, of course, pressuring them into doing things they aren’t comfortable with. Some will even pick on their insecurities to get it done. But as long as the rules of this controversial lifestyle/identity/sexual orientation (feedism has been described as all three) are mutually agreed on and the risks are understood, the feed is on. Bon appetit.